Night Ten

Tell me your name I’ll tell you who you are. Tell you who your parents are. Who your family were. Who they wanted you to be. Then I’ll tell you how you’ve failed. You’re not what you should be. Fail fail fail. You’ve lost the game. It’s over. You’ll never get your name back.

 My parents called me Alice. They wanted me to fly over the world. They wanted me to run ’till I can’t breathe. They wanted me to run even breathless. They wanted me to be never stopped. Fly run flee float go go… go.Far, as far as you can. Be free. Free as hell as wind. Alice you’re a blue bird. You’re a blue bird so you have to cross the clouds. You’re a colour in the middle of the white grey clouds. You’re the blue in a grey sky.

 Do I have to color the sky ? I asked.
They did not answer.
It killed me.
If I’m a blue bird in a grey sky, doesn’t it mean that I am completely alone ? Doesn’t it mean I have a mission ? A mission so hard and so difficult I will never complete it. And doesn’t it mean that if I can’t complete the mission I was born for I’ll never be complete myself ?

And this is it. This is the moment where I loose the A. I couldn’t be what they wanted. I can’t be what they want. I can’t be. And I keep loosing myself.

Tell me your name, I tell you who you’ll never be and you’ll end up like me.
Dead inside with a name which is no longer a name.

 Lullaby you never sleep again ’cause tomorrow the y will be gone.

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