Posts in Category: Lol a Bye

Night

Can you hear me ?
The voice in the middle of my head
keep singing
again and again

Cheshire Cat never came back to me

Head in the water
hair in the wind
hand in the sand
I couldn’t find the A

Lucy Lucy Lucy
More and more voices
I can’t even count them
Voices all over the world
Voices all over the wall

Head in the water
hair in the wind
hand in the sand
I couldn’t find the A

Voices on the wall !
laughed the Cheshire…
I can hear his smile
I can feel his eyes
but there’s NO FUCKING TREE IN A FOREST

Head in the water
hair in the wind
hand in the sand
I couldn’t find the A

I searched and searched again for the fucking A
but couldn’t find it
can’t find the A
can’t find the A

.Lice is eating your mind…
and Cheshire desappeared
and Lucy cried under the trees….

Night Ten

Tell me your name I’ll tell you who you are. Tell you who your parents are. Who your family were. Who they wanted you to be. Then I’ll tell you how you’ve failed. You’re not what you should be. Fail fail fail. You’ve lost the game. It’s over. You’ll never get your name back.

 My parents called me Alice. They wanted me to fly over the world. They wanted me to run ’till I can’t breathe. They wanted me to run even breathless. They wanted me to be never stopped. Fly run flee float go go… go.Far, as far as you can. Be free. Free as hell as wind. Alice you’re a blue bird. You’re a blue bird so you have to cross the clouds. You’re a colour in the middle of the white grey clouds. You’re the blue in a grey sky.

 Do I have to color the sky ? I asked.
They did not answer.
It killed me.
If I’m a blue bird in a grey sky, doesn’t it mean that I am completely alone ? Doesn’t it mean I have a mission ? A mission so hard and so difficult I will never complete it. And doesn’t it mean that if I can’t complete the mission I was born for I’ll never be complete myself ?

And this is it. This is the moment where I loose the A. I couldn’t be what they wanted. I can’t be what they want. I can’t be. And I keep loosing myself.

Tell me your name, I tell you who you’ll never be and you’ll end up like me.
Dead inside with a name which is no longer a name.

 Lullaby you never sleep again ’cause tomorrow the y will be gone.

Night Nine

I’m dancing under the rain. It’s acid rain. It’s burning the trees. If I’m lucky enough they’ll burn ’till there’s nothing more and I’ll be able to get out of here. Until this golden moment, I’m dancing. Barefoot under the acid rain. Whatever will happen to me. Nothing worse can happen now. Nothing. ‘Cause I’ve already lost your breathe…

Am I so far from you,
so deep into the wood
that I can’t feel you ?
There used to be the heat of your hand
just on this side.
And now, even the ravens leave no touch on my skin.
I can hear them
I can hear them sing.

I’m dancing under the acid rain. I can hear the music in my head. I can hear all those screamings. I’m trying no to hear them. I’m trying not to understand. Don’t give any attention and they won’t cause any pain. No more pain.

The trees are burning. So are the leaves on the branches. And so is my skin. Lucy’s not here tonight. But I can feel the pain of her sight. ‘Lice is here. Deeper in the wood. Deeper and deeper again. Where no humain ears can go and survivre. She lost the A venturing on this side. She told me to find it. She’s not nice. Not nice at all. She hates me. She says she’s going to destroy me. And I believe her. I know she can do it. She can break me when she wants. ‘Cause if Lucy’s my friend, Madness is her’s…

I’m dancing in the rain
I’m looking for pain
the pain that can wake me up
from this living nightmare.
The ravens keep singing

« It’s too late,
you already have no more blood
on your vein »

Please, free me from your sorrow

Night Eight

I know all your stories. Everything you dream at night, everything you dream when the lights switch on. I know everything. I feed myself with your prays, your words, your needs. I take everything, I steal all I can and I keep it.

I’m sorry but I don’t have the choice.
I must fill the night.
Night is so empty
it hurts my head so bad.
And I can throw my mind on the walls
as much as I want
as much as Madness wants
pain never stop.

So Lucy said :
Let’s fill the night. Let’s take them all we can. They won’t die I promise. They’ll never know I swear.

And I believed him.
And he was right.
You do not know.

No clue.
You can’t catch me.
‘Cause I know all of your fucking stories and in the end it fills me so much I can’t fucking sleep ! Free me please… Free me from your sorrow…
‘Lice… please free me… I’ll fill the blank on your name and you’ll have a beautiful and complete name again I swear.

They’ll never know he said.

I can hear you breathe through the earphones….
I know your stories, I know your breathe.
I feed myself with it, and I followed Lucy home but Lucy had no home however he swore we’ll find an exit ’cause I want to get out of here do you hear me I want to get of here I FUCKING WANT TO GET OUT OF HERE.

But you don’t hear me. And I don’t hear you neither… Where are you ? I have to hear you breathing… ‘Cause if I don’t hear you breathing… how can I come back ?

Night Seven

Hi Madness, sweetie.
Long ago, long time… what time ? Please, what time is it ?
I lost the tic tac. Lost his breath.
Even Lucy is not coming tonight.
The earphones are silent.
I can’t sing, my voice is dead.
My name is vain.

Madness, sweetie…

Do you remember how it was ? How it was before all this.

No name. Silence is so so big. Silence is so so huge. Unknown territory. And I can’t move. I can’t even blink. Can’t cry. Can’t whisper. Can’t escape. Can’t smile. Where will I go ? Where will I go when all this will be over ? Where can I even go being almost dead ?

Silence is eating me.

You know Madness, I met this girl… Her mind is so full of silence that you can hardly hear her voice. I asked for her name. She looked at me. I swear I could see her lips moving but no sound reached my ears. Her eyes start getting full of tears, waterless tears. She was fighting against something I couldn’t see. All I can see was her pain. Something was hurting her deeply inside.
I took her hands, trying to give her a bit of strength. All I said was « My name is Lullaby. ».
Here I heard it. A gate was broken. Finally she whispered « My name is …Lice. »

She lost the A. She lost the fucking A of her name. Silence ate it.

Long time. Can’t escape. I don’t want to loose my name.
Madness, sweetie, will you be kind enough to remember my name ?

Night Six

Dear Lullaby,

Will you ever smile again ?
Will you talk to me again ?
Do you still hear the breathe of the world ?
Will you ever reach it back ?
Will you go back to the living one ?

You know I’ll miss you.
You know I need you.

I need you to find the A.
If you don’t, I’ll never be complete again.
I’ll keep disappearing, over and over.
I will suffer so much.
And I’ll be nothing at the end.
None to remember me.
None at all.

All that because of you.

It’s all your fault.
It’s unfair that Lucy came to you.
He never came to me.
Never never.
I tried to make him come,
But he didn’t.

And you…
You did nothing but he came to you.
He walks with you every night.
Why ?
Why Lullaby ?
Why does he stay with you
and never give me a look ?

I hate you.

Find the A.
Find a way.

Or I’ll never leave you sleep again.

Yours fully,
…lice

Night Five

Something is burning inside. Do you know that feeling ? When your insides are burning and you think you’re about to die ? These nights, I want to break myself. As I can hear my bones cracking and my blood boiling, I wish I could break me in so many litle pieces I could fix everything back after….

After what ?
What after ?

And everything would be as I wanted it to be. It’s not fair that I feel like dying all these nights while everyone can’t even imagine the suffering I find in the dark.

I want to be fixed.
Will you fix me ?

They say I don’t deserve it.
The voices in the dark…

And He says I’m crazy
morning after morning
And Lucy walks with me
night after night
But we don’t know what we are looking for.
might be peace…

Yes….
Some bit of peace, some piece of relief.

But the pain goes on and on. It never stops. I ended up thinking I will never ever be fixed. I’m definitly broken and I’m walking with the pieces of a dead me stucked to my legs, to my arms… And my hands can’t take it off. I want to thake this off. I want it so hard sometimes I start putting off my own skin… I wanted to see what was under, what was this stuff that burns me all night long. And you know what ?

There was nothing.